I've been playing stupid for long enough...

It's time for me to quit. Ryan is a jerk. I really feel like he's lied to me about his feelings for me the whole time we have "liked" each other. I don't know how he kept up the charade for so long. I initiated everything. Very few times would he text me first or call me first. VERY few. When I mentioned it, he would apologize and say he would do better so I would stop texting him or calling him and then I would be yelled at by him saying that I don't talk to him enough. I want to be the pursued, not the pursuer. That's lame. Guys are supposed to be the ones to do that. If he wasn't lying to me about his feelings, then he sucks and being a boy. He sucks at dating, flirting, taking care of people. He's selfish and doesn't know how to treat a girl. He's got so much junk from his past that he won't let go of or learn from. I'm not the girl for him. I deserve way better than him and if he doesn't like that then he can get over himself. I'm not some project that he passes or fails. If I were, he would have failed a long time ago. He needs to grow up and be a man. And, he needs to get over himself. I know that I'm selfish and I know that every human has selfish tendencies, but he takes it overboard. It's quite ridiculous. If he wants a girl then he needs to figure out how to be a guy. AND, if he feels called to masters, then he needs to get off his butt and get a job. It doesn't matter what kinda job it is. He's lazy! All he cares about is his comfort and going to ten. How on earth is he gonna pay for Masters? I don't think that his parents are gonna help him. They want him to go to college. He really needs to just grow up. We all have to do it at some point and he needs to start now. I'm done with him.